Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
