I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
