I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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