i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
and she was petting her beer can
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
