Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
