"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
