Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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