ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
