This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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