Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
