just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
