remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
