he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
