I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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