The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
so much tequila, so little girl.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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