If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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