It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
