it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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