She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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