I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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