Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
