I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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