Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
