I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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