im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
