how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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