We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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