No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
