Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
