so explain again why im purple
no
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She's the barista slut.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
