OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
What changed your mind?
Being sober
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
