Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
