xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
