i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
