im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's shark week go big or go home
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
