We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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