they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
