Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
