i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
high people should be assigned attendants
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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