I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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