My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Even my vagina gasped.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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