i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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