how can u be prego again
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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