I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
