he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
