Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
