What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
