David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
