Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
