no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
